Things That I've Learned Since Moving Out Of Larkhall

Well, I moved out in September, so Christmas seems as sensible a time to look back on moving out as any.

Features general moving comments, specific nonsense, and the usual vitriol.

What have I learned?

1. People from small towns who don't move generally suck

I'm not saying everyone does, but for every person who can't quite move out yet, for one reason or another, there's a local boring bastard, who thinks that the whole world revolves around their little shitpile of an area, or a group of people, who only go to three places to socialise. Thrillers, so they are. Oh Emm Gee did you see that x is pumpin' y ... and zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz......

2. Don't skimp on meat.

Cheap meat sucks arse. It's that simple. Buy on back packaging percentages.

3. Alan's, The Ranch, Palace... ?

Seriously, save up all your wages, get a dart, a map, and a discovery ticket.

Throw the dart at the map, and travel there. I bet £50 that it's less shit than anywhere in Larkhall, or Hamilton. Hell. You might actually break the mould and *gasp* talk to someone new... :|

4. I Saw An Ex Teacher On... Is Dull

HAhahahhahahahahhahah ITS THE FUNNIEST THING EVER!!!!!1111!!1!1!!1

What age are you? Fucking 19? Good grief. These people have lives as well.

5. If you don't appreciate a good pasta...

You will when you move out, you sponging bastard.

6. Y'know when you think you're loaded and splash out?

You aren't. You still live with mum and dad, and I would bet £20 that you don't even pay rent. That's not loaded. That's just insecure.

God.

I have hundreds. If you want to leave a comment, I'll caustically reply.

If not,

I don't give a rat's arse.