Just a small, opinionated, and random collection of things that I honestly do not give a grounded, floating, sinking, dancing or indeed flying fuck about. I'm guilty of doing similar to a good few of these, so its just a wee rant, aimed at no-one. Honestly. :D.
1) What any named celebrity is eating or drinking this week. Or anything about them really. Cheryl Cole can mime her way through performances or catch malaria all she likes, but I honestly do not need to know.
2) JLS, or the contestants of any reality "talent" show ever to have been shat into existence.
3) Any DJ, with the exceptions of ones who bring a live band (Prodigy), or have a stunning light show (Chemical Brothers).
4) N-Dubs. "Being N-Dubz" - subjected myself to a mighty 4 minutes of this drivel. Or Scouting for Girls... enough said.
5) Whether it's fake tan or foundation. If anyone has mentioned it, in any capacity, you look like a fucking rotting orange, pal.
6) How you look in 950 different mirror/at arms length photographs.
7) Twilight. Just piss off and enjoy it. I don't like it, fair enough that some do, but fucking wrap the "Team Edward or Team Jacob" shite.
8) Your religion. Really, keep it, it may help you :). But keep it out of my face.
9) Headsocks and the like. Been covered before.
10) What health drive you're on, or any insecurities about your appearance. If you've got problems, sort them quietly. I could run off a list of things I'm doing to lose the pork. But I don't. Life moves on, without your every notification that you had a fucking salad sandwich. Besides, people applaud you more if you just get on with it :)
11) Pets. Lovely things to have about. No-one cares about yours though, except you.
12) Lee Nelson. You may have noticed that I have issues with him.
13) What you are doing with "the gurrrrllllsss" or "the laaaadssss!!!", if it includes pub, bar, club, shop, or holiday to any of - "Maga" "Reef" Ibiza or Zante. If you're going bungee jumping, or to somewhere mental, let us know, thats cool. But we get the point that its a Saturday, and its club night.
14) Any facebook attention seeking status, such as "people are such bastards sometimes" or "I wish I could just get away". Unless you state what this is in aid of, we wont ask, as we do not care!!
Anyhoo. Thats all. Next blog should be more entertaining. Look upon this as a time wasting effort. Lazy, yes, but the wait makes the next good one better.
Monday, 19 July 2010
Tuesday, 13 July 2010
T in the Park 2010 Review.
Overview
Over the course of this review, I intend to give my impression of each of the bands I saw, and some general thoughts about my fifth T in the Paaaaaaaark. (obligatory aaaaaaa).
Overall it was a fantastic weekend, without pills, with plenty thrills, and one bellyache that nearly ruined a weekend!!
I'm missing out the quotes, which are a crucial part of every years T, but to see a selection of the "MADNESS!! Some call it MADNESS!", head on over to the Aud blog where Audrey will soon compose a veritable compendium of the nonsense spoken, screamed, sang, or mumbled incoherently in an alcohol fuelled haze.
So, to break it up, a section on Bands, and then a section of my fabtastic T in the Paaaaark (told you) Awards. The Bands section is a bit more factual, but the awards are largely mince, so may amuse you more. :)
Bands
Friday
3Oh!3 - Not a band I would usually have chosen to see, but played their songs competently enough, and with some chants of "Here we, here we, here we fucking go", got the crowd going suitably mental. Best song - No idea. Couldn't name one. :
Editors - Typically standout set by Editors, with some great singalongs for their main big hits, and a fantastic "Bullets" Best song - An End Has A Start.
Faithless - Had the crowd jumping up and down like mad, shame that most of the surrounding people were arseholes!! Best song - Insomnia, easily.
Muse - Cracking headline set from the supermassive trio. Cranked out all the hits you could expect, a blinding light show, and more facemelting solos than a stick could be shaken at. Best song - Knights of Cydonia, for the build-up to the solo, and then the ripping solo itself.
Saturday
The Proclaimers - As you'd expect, they were indifferent, bar from the hits, which had the crowd singing along merrily. Best song - Sunshine on Leith, as Fraser went mental.
Vampire Weekend - Very good performance, shame about the rain. If ever there was a sunshine band... Best song - Oxford Comma.
We Are Scientists - Songs from first album were excellent, the rest... less so, and a bit too much pointless feedback. Great banter though. Best Song - Nobody Move, Nobody Get Hurt.
Stereophonics - Typical rocking performance, shame it was ruined for Audrey and I by the wankers around us. Especially the massive mudfighters. Scumbags. Best Song - Bartender And The Thief, as it happened before all the dickery. :
Prodigy - Let the crowd my faith in T in the Park after Stereophonics. Played a bouncing, furious set, that had Maxim's "Scottish fucking Warriors fucking having a BOUNCE BOUNCE BOUNCE". Audrey and I were further back, and they still nearly blew our faces off. Best Song - Omen, although Take Me To The Hospital deserves mention for actually, literally, blowing Audrey's toilet door open.
Sunday
The Stranglers - Excellent set from the 'veteran' band of T in the Park this year! Played everything you'd want, and the icing on the cake was the Best Song - A cover of the Kinks' All of the Day and All of the Night.
At this point, there was a dead zone for Fraser, Audrey and I, and we went to get mangled. Lewis, Jen, and Andrew, meanwhile, went to see the View and such.
Biffy Clyro - Excellent show, largely played stuff off the two recent albums, which suited me perfectly. Best song - Bubbles.
4 Jay Z songs - We went for the amusement value. "uh huh yeah, uh yeah uh huh", really is all there was to say. If you have ever heard Jay Z, you'll know why. If you haven't, don't. Best song - Empire State of Mind, for the part where he shut up.
Madness! - Absolutely, totally and utterly fucking awesome. Loved every minute. Audrey, Fraser, Helen and I had a big bit of space to the left of the stage, in the second row, which we turned into a dancefloor. They were so good, even I felt compelled to dance my way through the ENTIRE SET. EVERY... SINGLE... SONG!!! Truly incredible, and the full, huge, crowd, sang and danced like true nutty boys and girls right the way through. Not one misfired song. Best Song - Can't pick one. Honestly.
FABTASTIC T IN THE PAAAAAAAARK (see, there it is again) AWARDS!!
Band of the weekend - Madness. You probably guessed that
Honourable mention - Prodigy. I heard the thunder.
Quote of the weekend - Anything from the three hours of Hugh Grant speech.
Honourable mention - "Andrex is like wiping your bum with a puppy" - Lewis Marshall.
Moment of the weekend - Dancing to the full Madness set, with Audrey, Fraser, and Helen.
Honourable mention - When Jen triumphantly reappeared on the Sunday.
Gutter of the weekend - Jen having to go home and miss Saturday due to the aforementioned bellyache.
Dishonourable mention - All of the knobheads at Stereophonics.
Tent of the Weekend - Frasers and mine. Which flooded. And then blew away :
Honourable mention - The tent which was fully zipped up bar for the mans head, with a straw and a strongbow.
Obvious game of the weekend - "How do they get those trees to look as realistic?" - Me
"Wait...Are they not real?" - Andrew J. Hamilton
Almost boxing at the weekend - "GINGER" - Random Lassie
"FAT COW!!!" - Audrey H. Gillies
Cocktail of the weekend - A pint of Jeremy - 1 part vodka, 1 part woo woo, 1 part apple finny micks, 2 parts strongbow, and 2 parts cold tomato soup. And yes, I drank it all.
Honourable mention - A pint of mischief - Lewis Marshall's creation. Very obscure.
Andrew being drunk moment of the weekend - "Red bull lock in!!! DISCODISCODISCO!!!"
Honourable mention - "I thought that's really out of character. Then I realised I was drunk"
Food of the weekend - Buffalo burgers, with bacon and cheese. Or with sausage and cheese, when the bacon ran out.
Honourable mention - Anything from the toastie wagon. My choice being a bacon and mozzarella.
Only at T in the Park moment - "I'm planning my bands around shitting" - Lewis Marshall
Honourable mention - The consumption of 85 cans of Strongbow, 3 litres of vodka, 1 litre of rum, 1.5 litres of whisky, 2 litres of woo woo, 3 bottles of Finny Mick, 2 wee Jager bottles, and 20 pints of various alcohol in the arena - by Me, Fraser, Lewis, Andrew, a barely drinking Audrey, and an only drinking one night Jen!
Thanks to
Audrey Gillies, Andrew J. Hamilton, Fraser Shaw, Lewis "I'm Scottish" Marshall, and Jen*nifer* O'Neil, for a truly cracking weekend of banter and music. :)
Couldn't have drunk it without you guys ;)
Over the course of this review, I intend to give my impression of each of the bands I saw, and some general thoughts about my fifth T in the Paaaaaaaark. (obligatory aaaaaaa).
Overall it was a fantastic weekend, without pills, with plenty thrills, and one bellyache that nearly ruined a weekend!!
I'm missing out the quotes, which are a crucial part of every years T, but to see a selection of the "MADNESS!! Some call it MADNESS!", head on over to the Aud blog where Audrey will soon compose a veritable compendium of the nonsense spoken, screamed, sang, or mumbled incoherently in an alcohol fuelled haze.
So, to break it up, a section on Bands, and then a section of my fabtastic T in the Paaaaark (told you) Awards. The Bands section is a bit more factual, but the awards are largely mince, so may amuse you more. :)
Bands
Friday
3Oh!3 - Not a band I would usually have chosen to see, but played their songs competently enough, and with some chants of "Here we, here we, here we fucking go", got the crowd going suitably mental. Best song - No idea. Couldn't name one. :
Editors - Typically standout set by Editors, with some great singalongs for their main big hits, and a fantastic "Bullets" Best song - An End Has A Start.
Faithless - Had the crowd jumping up and down like mad, shame that most of the surrounding people were arseholes!! Best song - Insomnia, easily.
Muse - Cracking headline set from the supermassive trio. Cranked out all the hits you could expect, a blinding light show, and more facemelting solos than a stick could be shaken at. Best song - Knights of Cydonia, for the build-up to the solo, and then the ripping solo itself.
Saturday
The Proclaimers - As you'd expect, they were indifferent, bar from the hits, which had the crowd singing along merrily. Best song - Sunshine on Leith, as Fraser went mental.
Vampire Weekend - Very good performance, shame about the rain. If ever there was a sunshine band... Best song - Oxford Comma.
We Are Scientists - Songs from first album were excellent, the rest... less so, and a bit too much pointless feedback. Great banter though. Best Song - Nobody Move, Nobody Get Hurt.
Stereophonics - Typical rocking performance, shame it was ruined for Audrey and I by the wankers around us. Especially the massive mudfighters. Scumbags. Best Song - Bartender And The Thief, as it happened before all the dickery. :
Prodigy - Let the crowd my faith in T in the Park after Stereophonics. Played a bouncing, furious set, that had Maxim's "Scottish fucking Warriors fucking having a BOUNCE BOUNCE BOUNCE". Audrey and I were further back, and they still nearly blew our faces off. Best Song - Omen, although Take Me To The Hospital deserves mention for actually, literally, blowing Audrey's toilet door open.
Sunday
The Stranglers - Excellent set from the 'veteran' band of T in the Park this year! Played everything you'd want, and the icing on the cake was the Best Song - A cover of the Kinks' All of the Day and All of the Night.
At this point, there was a dead zone for Fraser, Audrey and I, and we went to get mangled. Lewis, Jen, and Andrew, meanwhile, went to see the View and such.
Biffy Clyro - Excellent show, largely played stuff off the two recent albums, which suited me perfectly. Best song - Bubbles.
4 Jay Z songs - We went for the amusement value. "uh huh yeah, uh yeah uh huh", really is all there was to say. If you have ever heard Jay Z, you'll know why. If you haven't, don't. Best song - Empire State of Mind, for the part where he shut up.
Madness! - Absolutely, totally and utterly fucking awesome. Loved every minute. Audrey, Fraser, Helen and I had a big bit of space to the left of the stage, in the second row, which we turned into a dancefloor. They were so good, even I felt compelled to dance my way through the ENTIRE SET. EVERY... SINGLE... SONG!!! Truly incredible, and the full, huge, crowd, sang and danced like true nutty boys and girls right the way through. Not one misfired song. Best Song - Can't pick one. Honestly.
FABTASTIC T IN THE PAAAAAAAARK (see, there it is again) AWARDS!!
Band of the weekend - Madness. You probably guessed that
Honourable mention - Prodigy. I heard the thunder.
Quote of the weekend - Anything from the three hours of Hugh Grant speech.
Honourable mention - "Andrex is like wiping your bum with a puppy" - Lewis Marshall.
Moment of the weekend - Dancing to the full Madness set, with Audrey, Fraser, and Helen.
Honourable mention - When Jen triumphantly reappeared on the Sunday.
Gutter of the weekend - Jen having to go home and miss Saturday due to the aforementioned bellyache.
Dishonourable mention - All of the knobheads at Stereophonics.
Tent of the Weekend - Frasers and mine. Which flooded. And then blew away :
Honourable mention - The tent which was fully zipped up bar for the mans head, with a straw and a strongbow.
Obvious game of the weekend - "How do they get those trees to look as realistic?" - Me
"Wait...Are they not real?" - Andrew J. Hamilton
Almost boxing at the weekend - "GINGER" - Random Lassie
"FAT COW!!!" - Audrey H. Gillies
Cocktail of the weekend - A pint of Jeremy - 1 part vodka, 1 part woo woo, 1 part apple finny micks, 2 parts strongbow, and 2 parts cold tomato soup. And yes, I drank it all.
Honourable mention - A pint of mischief - Lewis Marshall's creation. Very obscure.
Andrew being drunk moment of the weekend - "Red bull lock in!!! DISCODISCODISCO!!!"
Honourable mention - "I thought that's really out of character. Then I realised I was drunk"
Food of the weekend - Buffalo burgers, with bacon and cheese. Or with sausage and cheese, when the bacon ran out.
Honourable mention - Anything from the toastie wagon. My choice being a bacon and mozzarella.
Only at T in the Park moment - "I'm planning my bands around shitting" - Lewis Marshall
Honourable mention - The consumption of 85 cans of Strongbow, 3 litres of vodka, 1 litre of rum, 1.5 litres of whisky, 2 litres of woo woo, 3 bottles of Finny Mick, 2 wee Jager bottles, and 20 pints of various alcohol in the arena - by Me, Fraser, Lewis, Andrew, a barely drinking Audrey, and an only drinking one night Jen!
Thanks to
Audrey Gillies, Andrew J. Hamilton, Fraser Shaw, Lewis "I'm Scottish" Marshall, and Jen*nifer* O'Neil, for a truly cracking weekend of banter and music. :)
Couldn't have drunk it without you guys ;)
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